


Car Keys

by kurtcobain



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Fluff, Harry Styles - Freeform, Innuendo, Louis Keys Harry's car, Louis Tomlinson - Freeform, M/M, One Shot, Power Bottom Louis, Short One Shot, Top Harry, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:12:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4169001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurtcobain/pseuds/kurtcobain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based off the prompt: "You're the bastard who parks in front of my house each morning so i decided to retaliate by keying your car and you caught me"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Car Keys

Louis locked the door to his small suburban home with a soft ‘click’.

  
Mornings were always relatively cold at his residence in London, so he’d dressed appropriately in a navy puffy jacket and scarf, along with his ‘Stone Roses’ tee and black skinnies.

“Bloody hell.” He groaned, a puff of gray smoke following his words. His nose and cheeks had already turned a light shade of red, and it wasn’t just the cold’s fault. “Not again!”

Louis groaned and stomped over to where the gray Hyundai Santa Fe Sport was sat in front of his yard.

“Every fucking morning! Can’t you park somewhere besides in front of my hydrangeas? You’re blocking their morning light!” He kicked at the back tire roughly, letting out a (manly) screech of pain when his toes connected with the hard rubber. “Fucking hell that hurt!”

Louis knew it was completely irrational to blame his self-inflicted pain on some faceless stranger, but in his mind it was most definitely better than accepting the fact that he could be a down right idiot sometimes (most all times, if he was honest with himself).

“You damn prick, I’m going to have to teach you not to park here again, aren’t I?” Louis whispered profanities under his breath as he fumbled in the breast pocket of his jacket to retrieve his keys.

He held his car key like he would have held a pencil and began to draw a rather large cartoon dick into the paint of mystery man’s car. Just as he had stepped back to admire his work with a proud smirk, an angry voice had called out to him.

“Hey! What the fuck man? What did you just do to my car?” Shit. Louis thought as he huffed to himself, trying to think of an escape route that wouldn’t end in him being caught and arrested.

So, of course, his best idea was to try and book it back to inside his home before the angry curly-haired man rushing across the street could catch him. The fatal flaw in this plan, however, was that Louis body had been assaulted by adrenaline, making his knees weaken and his hands shake.

As he was running towards his front door he tripped over his own foot, landing face first into the dirt. “Shit, fuck. Oh my God, no.” He frantically pushed himself to his feet, seeing his victim had already crossed the street and was mere meters away from catching him. He rushed up to the door and fumbled to put his key in the lock, only to drop his keys in the process.

“Bloody hell I fucking hate my life.” He whined and turned around to face the angry man behind him with a sheepish smile.

“Hey.” Louis squeaked out, a trembling hand reaching out to shake with the fuming man. “’M Louis.” The man pushed Louis’ hand away with a huff.

“I’m Harry.” He growled. “What the fuck did you just do to my car?” Louis scuffed his feet against the concrete and looked down as he played with his own fingers.

“Well, you see, I thought your car was just so bland and needed some sprucing up. So I took it upon myself to use my artistic intuition to improve upon it.” Harry raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms over his chest.

“And this so called artistic intuition? It just so happened to tell you to draw a giant fucking penis on my driver’s side door?” Louis face flushed under the man’s—Harry’s—scrutinizing glare.

“Yep!” Louis chirped, picking his keys up off the ground. “Well you see, I’d love to stay and chat with you Harry but I’ve got a busy, busy day ahead of me. See you!” Louis attempted to turn and unlock his front door to escape the consequences, but was stopped by a much larger hand than his own being placed on his shoulder.

“Oh no, Louis. My car has a giant fucking dick scratched into the side of it! You can’t just escape the consequences.” Louis reluctantly turned around and huffed, glaring up at the extremely handsome man in front of him.

“If you didn’t park your damn soccer mom car in front of my fucking garden every morning we wouldn’t even have this problem.” Harry let out a guffaw.

“That’s the reason you keyed my car? Because I parked in front of your damn forget-me-nots?”

“They’re fucking hydrangeas!”

“Whatever! You keyed my car over some measly flowers!”

After a few more minutes of yelling a few ‘fuck you’s’ and ‘you’re such a prick’s’ around, the two just glared at each other passively.

Louis huffed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Look,” He reasoned. “If I give you a blowie will you just let it go?” Harry let out a loud laugh at this, and to be honest Louis was quite scared by it. It sounded as if the man was choking on his own voice box.

Louis scoffed indignantly, “Are you fucking laughing at me?” He pouted as Harry continued to laugh at his statement. “Oh come on man, it isn’t funny! I was serious!”

“I-I know!” Harry spluttered, wiping a tear from his eye. “That’s what makes it so bloody funny!”

“Oh fuck off!” Louis huffed. “I’ll go with you to the fucking dealership to get the thing fixed, if you promise not to park in front of my hydrangeas again. Deal?” Louis extended the previously rejected hand out in a deal, and is met with Harry’s firm one in return.

“Deal.”

And if after Louis pays to fix the car Harry asks for that blowie he was offered, well, no one has to know but them.

(“Hey, Louis?”  
“Hm?”  
“Can I have that blowie you offered earlier?”  
“Oh fuck off, you absolute twat.”  
“Is that a yes?”  
Louis just laughed and lead him into the bedroom.)


End file.
